I checked out.
Somewhere in March, I let stress take over and I checked out. 

I’ve been checked out for about 6 weeks or more and I’ve learned stress can reek havoc in that amount of time.  The kicker is, I started out telling myself it was "me time".  But……Ooooo….was I lying to myself.  

Work got stressful, finances tight, my daughter was in a rush to visit and choose a college, daughters were fighting, and our normal go, go, go, go was heavy.  I couldn’t fall asleep. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. I did the minimum in the evenings and binge watched TV when I couldn’t fall asleep.  We ate rushed meals out, my water intake went down and I gained weight.  Next, my mood went low along with my motivation and energy.  

And then in April, I started another new book and realized I was setting the foundation for depression to make its way back in.  Now that Mother’s Day has passed, part of me wonders if part of the stress was subconscious grief as we were approaching mother’s day. Either way, about 1 to 2 weeks ago, I had asked myself, “when was the last time I felt like this?” And the answer was easy.  "After my mom died.”  

I’m thankful, I asked myself that question.  My realization has been the motivation I needed to do a few things different and get on a better path.  I started with my emotional oil regimen and talking with my sisters.  Last week I went live in our Facebook group, Joy for Everyday Women, talking about some of the reasons why I had checked out and shared the names of a couple books I’ve read this year.  I posted in our members only group, Bloom, that I’m ready to revise and commit to new wellness goals.  

It’s time to check back in! I think I have a new theme song too.  Michael Buble’s Feeling Good has been ringing in my ears. I'm back to real self-care and my mood is lifting just in time for the festivities of prom and graduation for my oldest girls.

I made appointments with my counselor and I meet with a functional medical doctor this week.  I’m looking forward to working with these wellness partners to help me set goals, to hold me accountable, and help me see what I can’t for myself.  

Joysisters, it’s time for some self reflection.  Are you checked out? Have you let stress reek havoc?  When was the last time you felt this way?  What are you going to do different today.  Let’s start a conversation.

Feeling like you are living on autopilot? Check out my 3 tips to stop living on autopilot HERE.  Spring has sprung.  There is no time like the present to break out of the mundane!


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