Do you need grace?

Do you need grace?

Gratitude, self-care, positive thinking, affirmations, morning routines, setting intentions, awareness. These are all the things that are trending right now but what do they mean? Why should we be paying so much attention to all of these things?

 The simple answer is: for your mental health. Now, when I say mental health I don't mean a diagnosis like bipolar or schizophrenia. I mean MINDFULNESS. 


So, what is mindfulness?? Mindfulness is focusing our attention in a positive direction. Mostly, we are either remembering the past or prepping for the future. All the while our body is here in the present. Our family is in the present. Our life is in the present. Yet we can’t enjoy the present because our mind is stuck either in the past or the future. So, mindfulness helps us to get our mind back to the present. Mindfulness is when you intentionally focus your mind on the now, on the present. 

 Gratitude, affirmations, morning routines are all mindfulness practices or tools that will help you remain in the present moment. They help you to keep your attitude, intentions and attention all in the same positive space. We simply want to treat ourselves with the same grace, love and respect that we treat others. If your child was stressed about school work would you tell them that they are a failure? No, you would help them find a way to get it done. Treat yourself with the same respect. Don’t down yourself, stop and take a few breaths and pause. Ask yourself if you would act this way towards a good friend if they were experiencing the same situation. We already know that that answer is no.

 Can you see why mindfulness is important? We all need grace and sometimes only from our own thoughts. 



I Just posted about the square breathing technique in our Facebook group Joy for Everyday Women. Make sure you hop over there and join the group to learn more!.Did you know that I am a Certified Mindfulness Coach. Yep! I got my certification in March 2021. 


Wellness Brings Joy

Wellness Brings Joy
Many factors effect our ability to be truly joyful.  Those factors can all be defined and addressed through wellness.

Join the Joy sisterhood. You belong here.

Join the Joy sisterhood. You belong here.
Who are the friends in your life that are more like family? More like sisters?  

Did you get to spend time with any of them this holiday? I got to spend time with some great longterm friends this holiday and it reminds me of how blessed I am to be part of so many sisterhoods.

Believe it or not, my sisters and I were not always close.  

Families can turn messy fast.   There were three things that altered family life for me by the time I was twelve.  We moved across the country.  My great grandma died and then my parents got divorced.  Moving into middle school, high school, and college my parents became absent dealing with their own emotions of being divorced and trying to make ends meet.  As an adult there were even more experiences that altered family life for us. I’m sure many of you have similar stories.  

What got me through middle school, high school, college and even young adulthood and now were my friends.  New and old sisterhoods.  

Over the years, we’ve lifted each other up, grew in faith together, experienced life together, cared for one another, celebrated together, bore each other’s burdens and held each other accountable.  We still do. Even through we’ve moved miles apart and there may be years between visits, we can get together and pick up right where we left off last.  We are more like family or sisters than friends.

People say that family is more than blood and its true.  My sisters have friends in their lives that are more like sisters than friends too. I believe it’s these friendships and sisterhoods that have helped us learn to be a good parents and better sisters.  

The three of us were able to repair relationships as we expanded our own families.  When our mom got sick and passed away it highlighted for us that there were only three people in the world that really could understand what it was like to be us.  Our sisterhood has become stronger and more important.  We’ve been able to grow together in part because of the experience of our sisterhoods.  Our sisterhood has gotten stronger and since we’ve joined an oily community and started our group and website our sisterhood has expanded.

It’s never too late to expand your sisterhood.

Because we recognize and appreciate the importance of the sisterhoods in our lives we have created a community of #joysisters.  In our group, Joy for Everyday Women, we want to create an online sisterhood of women who lift each other up, grow in faith and relationships, celebrate and support each other, and hold each other accountable for joy.  This group is for strong and thoughtful women with a hint of sass who recognize how fragile happiness is. We know what a busy and overwhelming life feels like. We want to do better, feel better, and be better. Life is meant to be enjoyed! We believe it's time to give proper attention to those things that bring us joy! We share inspiration and ideas that motivate us toward wellness of body, mind, and spirit. In this group we support each other and share our joys and struggles. 

Jump into our Facebook Community and join the sisterhood!  

We're Vibin

We're Vibin
“That’s so vibey.”  “Good vibes, good vibes.”  “We’re vibin”

I guess it's one of the newer “cool” phrases to be sayin??? I don’t know, maybe it's on its way out by now?  I’m not always up on current lingo, I’m told. Haha.  Teens! What I do know is that It makes me chuckle a little inside whenever I hear my kids or friends say these phrases.

Why? Because it’s not just a cool phrase.  Social neuroscientists are beginning to find evidence of “brain coupling” during conversation.  This might also explain why we say we feel we are “in sync” with someone or “on the same wavelength”.  

Frequency matters.  Here is my understanding of frequency.  Because of the movement of electrons and neutrons.  Nothing is ever at rest.  Everything even when we think of it being at rest or being inanimate is in motion.  At the basic building blocks, the atomic level, the object is in motion.  The collective motion of the atoms creates a vibration that is measured in frequency.  Frequencies can sync up.  There are easy experiments to test this out.  Get two tuning forks or two pendulum clocks.  Put them both in motion and they will eventually sync up.  Our brains and bodies do that with each other too.  So we can quite literally “be vibing” with someone.

To me “vibin” and it’s other phrases mean more than just to hang out or "chill".  It is the epitome of phrases to describe the social life of teens. It’s a phrase used to validate connectedness.  Teens want to be part of the crowd and a social group with lots of friends.  The truth is we all want this sense of connectedness.  The desire doesn’t end when you graduate high school or exit your teen years.  Humans are social creatures meant to live socially connected.  

I find living socially connected has its peaks and valleys.  There are times when I have many connections and close friendships and other times when my social calendar wanes.  Those valleys usually occur when I’ve busied up my calendar, increased caretaker duties or work duties and let my priorities get out of line.

There are natural times in our lives or transitions in life when our social networks drift and shift.  When you go to college, start a new job, move, raise a family, retire, etc.  These are the ebbs and flows to expect in our social network.  

 The trick is to figure out how to “vibe” with people so you stay connected.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice or a thousand times.  To improve upon anything and that includes our relationships, we have to be intentional to make it happen.  Call people when we are thinking of them.  Text them as if they were with us.  Make time to be in their presence.  Take trips to visit them. Invite them into our home.  Go out and support their endeavors.  Sit across from them with a cup of coffee.  Share our stories.  The big ones and the mundane ones.  

Make the effort, joy sister.  For your closest friends, let them know you want to stay connected and that you are making the effort so that they will return the effort.  Before long you will “be vibing.”

One thing that stunts my “vibe” is when I’m working in autopilot mode.  When I’m just going through the motions to get the things done that have to be done.  If you are stuck in autopilot, I’ve share three tips to get you out of autopilot mode.  GET GUIDE HERE.

Are you sitting on the back burner?

Are you sitting on the back burner?

I can ruin anyones day for no reason. I make you loose sleep and have mood swings.
I can weaken your immune system. I can cause ulcers, high blood pressure,
hives, fertility problems, low sex drive, migraines, eating disorders,
depression and anxiety just to name a few.

What am I?


Stress doesn’t skip over anyone. It shows no mercy. It swoops in and takes over in a moment's notice. To beat stress you have to stay ahead of the game. Be intentional. Take time out for yourself and de-stress. Now, sitting in front of the TV binge watching your favorite show is not what I’m talking about here. That is still a very draining activity because most of the time when you finally turn off Netflix you start feeling guilty that you didn’t get all the stuff done that you needed to.

I get it! You have little people to take care of and finding 10 minutes for yourself seems impossible. I know!! I promise you that it doesn’t have to be complicated, you just need a plan. You got to get yourself off the back burner!!!

My Mom was a strong woman. She always put us girls first, to the best of her ability. She went without a lot. She was always stressed and on that back burner. I wish I would have known how that stress was gonna affect her life’s path. She was always unhappy, she didn’t eat right at all, she lived off ibuprofen, she got wrinkles prematurely and ultimately ended up with cancer. You can almost pinpoint the time in her life where she was overrun with stress. Of course, then, we had no idea. But hindsight is 20/20. Since her death 2 years ago I have been struggling with stress. Somedays I find myself on that back burner just trying to get through the day until I can go to sleep and start again, and that’s no way to live.

So what have I done to intentionally de-stress? Lots of little things! We all have so much on our plates already that I find it easier for me to break it up into little bits of time throughout the day. Like 5 mins here and 10 mins there. Here are a few examples of things that I have done that really help.

1. Breathe.
Breath-work is one of the simplest forms of mindfulness that you can do. Did you know that breath-work lowers your blood pressure. Taking deep breaths can help the brain to calm down as well as activate your parasympathetic nervous system. This will result in lowering your heart rate. Just breathing!! So stop what you're doing. Close your eyes and take 4 deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth!! Make it a habit to do this often… how bout every time you go into the bathroom!

2. Set yourself up for a positive day as soon as your alarm goes off!
Set up a morning routine that is doable for you. Some people get up and exercise. I settle for just laying in bed stretching for 5 mins before I get up. During my stretches I focus on 2 things that I am looking forward to that day. Go have your coffee on the porch or take a walk. But no matter what, no negative thoughts aloud during this time!

3. Give the kids a bedtime.
I know when I was growing up we had a bedtime but somewhere down the line, at least in my house, that went sailing out the window. Kids need to de-stress just as much as we do, so, technically this would be great for everyone. Once the kids are in bed use this time to do something you like. Read a book, start a gratitude journal (check out this one I created), do you have a hobby? Just spend this time doing something you enjoy that often gets neglected.

No more neglecting yourself!!! You do not belong on the back burner. You are important and your health and wellness matters!!

XOXO Deanna
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